Beer Consumption ...!

The FDA is considering additional Warnings on Beer and Alcohol
Bottles, such as:

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you are
whispering when you are not.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing
like an asshole.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the
same boring story over and over again until your friends want
to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay
shings like thish.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe
that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at
4 in the morning.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering
what the hell happened to your pants.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over
in the morning and see something really scary (whose species
and or name you can't remember).

WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of
inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion
that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really,
really big guy named Thor.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe
you are invisible.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people
are laughing WITH you.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause an disruption in the
space-time continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps
of time may seem to "disappear."

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.