Sick Days...!

I used up all my Sick Days, So I'm calling in Dead !‍‍‍!!

Join The Army...!

Join The Army, Visit Exotic Places,
Meet Strange People, Then Kill Them !!!

The Truth...?

The Truth is out there! Does anyone know the URL ???

Argument …!

There are Three sides to any Argument ;
Your side, My side and the Right side!!!

Hereditary...!

Insanity is Hereditary, You get it from your Kids !!!

Middle Age...!

Middle age is when the broadness of the mind
and the narrowness of the waist change places !!!

Weirdo...!

Everybody is Somebody Else's Weirdo !!!

I Like Work...!

I like Work, It Fascinates me,
I sit and look at it for Hours !!!

A Consultant…!

A Consultant is someone who takes a Subject
you Understand and makes it Sound Confusing!!!

Afraid of Heights...!

Some people are Afraid of Heights, I'm afraid of Widths !!!

Unique…!

Always Remember that you are Absolutely Unique.
Just like Everyone Else!!!

Who Laughs Last...!

He Who Laughs Last, Has not yet heard the Bad News !!!

No One…!

When you’re Right, No One Remembers.
When you’re Wrong, No One Forgets!!!

Egotist ...!

An Egotist has one point in his favor,
He doesn't go around talking about other People!!!

Equality...!

I believe in Equality for Everyone, Except
Me & Myself !!!

Heaven…!

Everybody wants to go to Heaven,
But Nobody wants to Die !!!

The Difference…!

Never Argue with a Fool.
People might not know the Difference!!!

“Good Evening”…!

Evening News is where they begin with “Good Evening”,
And then proceed to tell you why it Isn’t!!!

Insanity...!

I don't Suffer from Insanity, I enjoy every Minute of It !!!

Overlooked…!

If Everything Seems to be Going Well,
You have Obviously Overlooked Something!!!

Find a Job…!

Many People quit looking for Work
When they Find a Job!!!

Mistakes…!

Everyone makes Mistakes. The Trick is to
make a Mistake when Nobody is Looking!!!

Marriage ...!

Marriage was invented because
it's only so much fun to Cheat at Cards !!!

Junk Mail...!

Day 276; After sending out that message in the bottle
stating my location, I've been bombarded with junk Mail !!!

Before & After Marriage ...

Before marriage, a man will lie awake all
night thinking about something you say.
After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.

Somewhere ...!

I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our Anniversary.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said ...
So I Suggested the Kitchen !!!

Married Life ...!

Married life is very frustrating.
The First year of marriage,The man speaks and the woman Listens.
The Second year,The woman speaks and the man Listens.
The Third year, They both speaks and the neighbors Listens !!!

Atomic bomb..!

Atomic bomb ; An invention to destroy all inventions !!!

Birthdays...!

Birthdays are like Glazed Donuts, Sometimes it's
better not to Remember how many you've Had !!!

$10 Dollars ...!

If you lend somebody $10 Dollars and never
see that person again, it was probably worth it!!

Electricity ... !

If it weren't for Electricity!!!




















We would all be watching Television by Match light !

Sooner or Later ...!

Everyone is gifted. Some open the package Sooner !!Publish Post!

Nobody is ever satisfied ...

Nobody is ever satisfied, Poor men wish they were rich !

Rich men wish they were handsome !

Handsome men wish they were bachelors !

Bachelors men wish they were married !

Married men wish they were dead !

Dead men wish to come back to life and get married again !!!

Blame...

If at first you do not succeed, blame your computer !

New Position ...!

Husband : Shall we try a new position tonight?
Wife : Sure. You stand by the ironing board
and I'll sit on the couch and drink beer and fart!!!

Someday...!

SOMEDAY is not a day of the WEEK !!!

Saturday
Sunday
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Someday

Two percent ...!

Ninety-Eight Percent of the adults in the Countries are Decent,
hard Working and Honest !

It's the other Lousy Two Percent that get all the Publicity.
But Then !! We Elected Them !!!

Married and Single Men ...!

Married men live Longer than Single Men do,
but Married Men are a lot more Willing to Die !!!

Out of Debt !!!

In a loan company or a bank ;

Now you can borrow enough money
to get completely out of debt !!!

Eye-Opener...!

Love is Blind but Marriage is an Eye-Opener !!!

Borrowing...!

Before Borrowing Money from a Friend,
Decide which you need more. ( Friend or Money !)

Teenagers...!

You have Teenagers! GOD Help you !!!

Love is...!

Love is something that can not be Measured by Anything ...
but it is also something that is Misconcepted the Most !!!

Water...!

Conserve Water ; Shower with a Friend !!!

Self-defence...!

A Tree never hits a Car except in Self-defence !!!

A Dot...!

A Line is a Dot went for along Walk ???

Good Example...!

Some are a Good Example of why some Animals Eat their Young !!!